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Honesty

by Better Machines

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1.
Old Friend 03:49
2.
Time Machine 05:20
I'm shouting just to make some noise to drown out the sound of the ringing in my ears keeping the thoughts from getting out. Thoughts of minor importance but yielding major consequences if they aren't satiated. I see them everyday and I really wish I didn't. There's a clamor in my right brain. There's a clamor in my right brain yelling nonsense and it makes me dumber that I'd rather admit, but at least I'm acknowledging my ignorance to some extent, right? Well, am I still ignorant? I wish the left had a bigger voice but it's sinking further down into the wrinkles of my mind, falling deeper over time until it's hidden. I fear the worst I've said hasn't happened yet not morally but to the people that hold any meaning. Sometimes I say too much of what I mean and that's what's fucked up: honesty is the root of cruelty that's why it's excluded in society.
3.
Temple 04:09
Don't overindulge, you've already bit off enough to last you more than two lifetimes. Your plate is filled enough, run it off or you won't fall asleep. You're wearing your choices poorly everywhere but your sleeves and it's weighing you down. Now make your next choice wisely. There's no safe way to ignore it, all the carelessness of the past three years staring at you in the face. A shameful reminder that maybe eighteen has run its course and fifty-five is here to stay. Lay off the bullshit lines you feed yourself along with anything to medicate to put a smile in your mind. My body is far from a temple but the wasteland below wishes it was paradise. Self control, self control Run it off or you won't fall asleep. My body is far from a temple. Could you love it either way? Run the mantra through your head: "You don't need it, you don't need it, no you don't need me." Own yourself, you know better. One day you will be what you want to be just agree. My body is my temple. I'll tear it up when I'm ready. Time has always told, time has always told.
4.
"It's not like you're ever going anywhere," she says...I think. She wants love, what she gets is peripheral attention, halfhearted jokes in small talk conversation. I share myself with people who appreciate the noise but I can't bring myself to share myself with the one who loves me. It's embarrassment that hinders me. That's my selfish story that I'm sticking with and we both know that I'm really trying to be more empathetic. I don't need the empathy you deserve and I'm still afraid that I'm giving up too much of what is actually nothing. I said I wanted to give back but I'm draining life. I said I wanted to give back but I'm draining life, sucking dry the last of my only lifelines, including any meaning in my words. I put pen to paper and finally wrote something of substance, words I can be proud of enough to share with you. She reads silently as I wait eagerly for the next thing that she'll say: "This is the greatest poem ever written. Why haven't you shown me any of this bright side sooner?" I smile in her eyes, blushing. Have trust in the ones that you love.
5.
I can charm all I want and still no one can tell what voices play on in my head during matters of social importance and while breaking old time moral bonds. Two extremes, screaming loudly. In the middle I stand alone, agreeing with one but thrown in with the other. Why is it wrong, why is it wrong? Why is it wrong to enjoy what I can access? I know you're angry and not attacking me but don't compromise your character. Kill the lights shining on the dying flame. Burn out, burn out Ignorance is bliss when your mouth is shut. What's to gain from witless verse? Everyone has shitty thoughts. Even more when they're shitty people. Blame the speaker not the crowd. There's too big a fucking mouth. Surprise! Everyone has a poorly advised opinion of what they don't understand. Two extremes, screaming face to face and I'm still scared to speak up and tell world what I really think because no matter what I'm still always wrong. I'm the next extreme even louder politically incorrect, but I'm not social impolite. Well we all know everyone is different and somehow you can't get that through your head. If it's not right keep your mouth shut.

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released June 24, 2016

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Better Machines Hammonton, New Jersey

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